


Speechless

by padfootfreak14



Series: Criminal Minds Drabbles [6]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Mentions of Death, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3733603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootfreak14/pseuds/padfootfreak14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble for imagines "Imagine Reid seeing you at one of his public speeches after several years" and "Imagine Reid forgetting what he was saying when he sees you enter the room"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speechless

A small sliver of being a part of the BAU involved going out to do presentations and speeches. Sometimes they were to police forces and other law enforcement officials, sometimes they were at the FBI academy and occasionally they went to colleges. Usually for college visits, they were local or somehow tied in with the bureau but in in some cases, such as now, exceptions were made. Cal-Tech was Spencer’s alma mater so naturally he was willing to come speak there when they asked. He always hoped that more intellectual places would make for less people staring at him like he was speaking another language, not that it ever worked out that way.

Over the years he had tried to dumb down his speeches, at least by his standards, to make what he was saying a little clearer for the audience. Most times despite his best effort he started rambling on and this was no different. He had the students’ attention for most of the time up until his words started exceeding his mind’s ability to slow him down and ensure they made any sense. He was on the verge of having to be interrupted to get him back on track when his attention was caught by someone new slipping in to the hall. The lecture hall wasn’t anything massive and the typical tiered layout gave him a clear view that absolutely shut down all thought and put a grinding halt on whatever he’d been rambling on about. 

It could be easy to lose track of time working in the BAU, there were so many cases that sometimes the days blurred together, but he could remember the exact day he’d last seen you. He remembered what you were wearing when you blew him a kiss before getting on the plane to go home even though it had been years ago. More than once he tried to come see you if the team had a case in L.A but you traveled frequently and it never worked out that you were around when he was there on a case, you were always busy doing things for the school. Hell, you’d done enough for them that they felt the need to name a hall after you. Coming out to see him was just as difficult to swing, you’d tried once a few years back but you didn’t have much time to swing it and he’d been called away for a case before you’d even gotten on the plane. There you were though, leaning against the wall at the back of the hall with an amused look on your face. It was then he realized that everyone was staring at him and he’d gone silent. When he glanced again at the back of the room you were gone, almost as if you’d never been there. Shaking himself from what must’ve just been wishful thinking, Reid continued what was left of his speech. As the students filed out after a chance for Q&A he busied himself putting away his things and letting his mind wander again.

“Eloquent as always Dr. Reid, when you can refrain from getting distracted of course.” Came a voice from behind him, snapping his attention to the front table. Perched on the edge of table was the subject of his thoughts, the same amused look on your face, that same outfit that was so familiar. “God Spence, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” You laughed, scooting back on the table until the back of your calves rested against the front edge. He took a few steps forward but didn’t entirely bridge the gap between the two of you.

“It’s just…it’s been a really long time since I’ve seen you. I wasn’t expecting you here.” He murmured, not quite meeting your eye.

“We knew this would happen Spencer, we knew from the moment you started thinking about moving to Virginia. We knew that eventually there would come a time that we wouldn’t be able see each other and we’d hardly talk. Adults grow apart, especially when they live across the country. You couldn’t possibly be around all the time.” It didn’t take a profiler to hear the guilt in his voice

“I know, but I should’ve been there more. You left everything to come help me when I needed it and I never even asked.”

“I never needed you to be there, I knew that you were out there catching bad guys and doing things that only you could do Spence. You were never going to be happy staying around here getting degree after degree until you ran out of ones to get. You’re here now at any rate, blowing everyone away with the amazing things you do every day.”

“I don’t think anyone here was blown away, probably wondering why they invited the weird guy to come talk to them.” Spencer responded, refusing to meet your eyes, trying to change the subject to anything but the two of you.

“We both know that’s not true, you’re brilliant and I’m sure everyone learned a ton from listening to you, whether it was anything they ever wanted to know remains to be seen,” You replied, hopping off the table and walking towards him with a look that dared him to try and argue with you about it. “Stop fixating on every potential bad thing you can think of.”

“How can I?” He choked out, his body trembling “I always had my light, at the end of every case no matter how bad they were I could always pick up the phone and hear your voice and I knew that it was okay. You reminded me that what we do made a difference and it made it worth not getting to see you because at least I could hear you telling me that everything was okay! Even when I told you not to bother coming out to see me because we had a case you said it was okay but it wasn’t okay! You weren’t okay! If I hadn’t gone on that case…”

“I am now, and so are you. You don’t need to hear me tell you that what you do is worth it, you know that it is,” You interrupted. “If you hadn’t gone then more people could’ve gotten hurt, it was my choice not to get on the plane anyway and wait for you to get back, work be damned. I didn’t have to turn back but I did anyway and that is not your fault, it never was.”

“Doctor Reid? The car is here to take you to the airport.” A voice from the back of the room interrupted before the person left again.

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time you called me because you were upset about a case?” You asked him

“You told me to celebrate the ones we could save and mourn the ones we couldn’t, but don’t weigh myself down with things that were out of my control.”

“That’s right, and I meant everything. Not just cases. Celebrate the happy but don’t bury yourself in the sad.”

“I won’t see you again will I?” He muttered, finally lifting his head enough to meet your gaze, scarcely able to hold back his tears.

“Not for a very long time my brilliant doctor, you’ve got a lot you’ve got to do and even though I’d love to wait for you I think we both know that I can’t. Now get going, you don’t want to miss your flight, drive safe.” You replied with a soft smile, not giving him the chance to say anymore before you departed.

“I’d rather miss the flight than miss you,” He whispered to himself, furiously wiping at his eyes before grabbing his bag and leaving the lecture hall. On the way out he passed a plaque holding the sort of information they always did when buildings and halls were named for someone. He stopped for only a few seconds in front of the sign that he’d stared at when he first arrived for the speech, before he left the building to head to the airport and back to what was sure to be a new stack of cases. Glancing back at the building one last time he saw you standing in the doorway by the plaque, blowing a kiss and waving goodbye before your image disappeared altogether. It had been years but that phone call still haunted him, the words on the plaque equally engraved within him. In loving memory of Y/N, may their love and brightness shine on all they knew. Their contributions to this institution and passion for helping others be an example to all who come here, that they too will strive for greater simple knowledge and achieve true understanding.


End file.
